Why I Ran 26 Stoplights
by Always Juliet
Summary: Chad got 26 tickets for running 26 stoplights. His mother told him to find out all the reasons why he ran the lights. And we just might learn that Chad is a lot more random then we all thought. Rated T for safety.
1. Coopers Don't Adopt Goats

**WARNING:**

**This story is really weird and we find out that Chad is more random then we think.  
**

**~Juliet**

....

**Dedicated to:**

**SpongeBob! ......because I loved that 'What Not To Do At A Stoplight' episode when I was younger. And I still do love it. :)**

**....  
**

**Disclaimer: Don't own stoplights or myspace. Who would want to anyways??!!  
**

* * *

Chad just got home from a long day of work. He kept on messing up his lines. And Chad NEVER messes up lines. Which makes the day even worse. But then he got home, his day got even more horrible.

"CHAD! HOW DID YOU GET 26 TICKETS FOR RUNNING A RED LIGHT!!!!??", Chad's mother screamed right when Chad opened the door of his house.

"I was too busy the notice.", he said. Him and his mother both knew that was a bad excuse.

"Oh really?", she said.

"Uh........."

"Until you find all the reasons why you ran 26 lights, you are grounded. No acting for a month."His mother said. Then she left the room.

Chad ran his bedroom, got out a piece of paper, and a pencil. And tried to remember how and why he ran those 26 stoplights.

OR at least make up some reasons..........

1. I was checking myspace.

2. The guy next to me was eating his toenails.

3. The birds were teasing me.

4. I adopted a goat.

5. I beat up the guy that was eating his toenails.

6. I called 911 because the guy the ate his toenails got beaten up

7. I called the police officer a 'Fubo'.

8. The police officer called me a 'No-Talent-Actor'

9. I threw a shoe at the police officer.

10. I yelled 'Chad Dylan Cooper is the best actor ever!'

11. People honked a me.

12. I stole someone license plate because it said 'SoRandmRuz'

13. I moved on red and stopped on green. Because the color red is sooo yesterday.

14. A girl was listening to 'Hannah Montana' music, so I threw her off a bridge.

15. I was randomly calling Sonny.

16. I was looking in the mirror and I saw a pimple.

17. My car moved itself.

18. I was typing a report.

19. I was playing 'Tag' with the car in front of me.

20. The guy I was playing 'Tag' with said I was going to pay for hurting his 'Baby Buggie'.

21. I was laughing at the guy and his 'Baby Buggie'

22. I was missing the '17 Again' premiere.

23. I was spying on Sonny and her date.

24. Sonny saw me and started flicking me.

25. I was reading my script.

26. And just because I wanted too!

......

_Mom's going to have to believe this. _

_...._

"Your still grounded.", Chad's mother said.

"But you said I was grounded UNTIL I found the reasons why I ran the 26 lights."

"Yes I did. But Coopers' don't adopt goats!"

....

_Well this stinks..........._

_I can't act for a month......._

_UGH!..........._

_....._

_.....  
_

_What I'm I going to tell Baab?!! _

_

* * *

_**Here's the deal everyone:  
**

**If you really want me to, I will make this into a multiple chapter story.**

**Each chapter for each of the reasons for Chad running a red light. **

**...**

**REVIEW or you will be adopted by goat!  
**


	2. I Was Checking Myspace

**Yay! A new chapter that isn't in poetry form.**

**Ok.**

**I hope you guys like it because I spend a all time on it.**

**Trying to get the ticket prize in L.A. right.**

**And picking a street in Hollywood.**

**AND**

**trying to make this a funny as I could.**

**But I feel bad that I used swear words. :(**

**Because I hate swear words!**

** I guess I'm the little five year old girl in this chapter! :(**

**....**

**Anyways, **

**_ohhMOONshoesPOTTER_ suggested that I make it a little bit Channy,**

**so I tried my best to do so.**

**Thanks!**

**~Juliet**

**P.S. If anybody cares, I'd liked to share my excitement that I got a twitter. Mostly because I just felt like it! You don't have to care. :)**

**...**

**...  
**

**Disclaimer:** **Évidemment non! **

* * *

**Ticket Number: 1**

**Who: Chad Dylan Cooper  
**

**Time: 2:35 p.m. **

**Date: August 28, 2009**

**Where: Franklin Ave, Hollywood, CA**

**Cost: $370.00 Dollars**

**Reason: '_I was checking Myspace._****'**

Well, today was just another boring today. Just work. Just boring work. Wait! Scratch that! My life is nothing. Nothing at long. My mom says its because I'm going through a teenager phase where I think everything sucks. I don't know if I should believe that. I just hope I will go back to having self-confidence tomorrow. Sonny says that my self-confidence is really conceited. I have no idea where she gets that. She's just jealous of my awesomeness.

_'Hey ho, lets go hey ho, lets go hey ho, lets go hey ho, lets go'_

UGH! Stupid cell phone. Stupid ringtone.......I think Chaddy is having a bad day. Well, I don't think. I know. Because if you think about it, who else would know I was in a bad mood but me?!

"WHAT?!' I answered the phone.

I didn't really care who it was. I didn't even bother to do my whole 'Let me hear ya say Heeey' thing.

"What'd I do!" Sonny cried.

"Oh...its you." Trying not to sound happy.

"Yep. Its me."

"Go away!"

"Why?! I heard you where in a bad mood so I called to tell you to check a funny video someone put on myspace."

Hmmm.......maybe I stand corrected. Maybe Sonny knows me too.

"What's it about?!"

"Kitties!"

"Kitties! You want me to watch a video about kitties!"

"Oh come on, Chad. It will a least brighten up your day."

"Ok. Fine. Text me the link."

"Yay! Goodbye!" Sonny said.

"Yeah. Yeah."

I hit 'End'

_La-La-La-La-La-La _

I heard the voice of Sonny. I recorded it when she was singing in the shower once and I put it as my ringtone when she texts me.

_Heres the link Chad! Enjoy! ~Sonny _

_Whateva!! ~Chad_

_Awh....your a sad puppy. ~Sonny_

I ignored that last text.

'Ok.' I thought 'To the video.'

_Click. Click. Click._

'Awh......look at that kitty drinking milk!' I thought

'Now is doing a dance! Sooo cute!' I thought

"WAIT! THIS VIDEO PUT A SPELL ON ME! SONNY PUT A SPELL ON ME!" I screamed.

_HONK! HONK! HONK-HONK! 'What are you frickin' doing!?!'_

I heard a yell. And I don't think it was the kitties

The cute cute cute kitties.

Ugh! Stupid Kitties.

_HONK!_

I looked up from my cell phone and turned around to see a _fat _anger guy behind me. And he looked like bigfoot too!

Ok........I get it now.

.......

There is only one answer and that is........

**The kitties put a spell on me.**

**....**

**....  
**

I forgot that I was driving.

Oh boy!

_HONK!_

"Oh shut up you idiot! I don't even know why your fuckin' honking at me!!"

Then there was some little five year old girl in another car. She turned to her mom and said 'Mommy! Mommy! Chad Dylan Cooper just swore!"

"What kind of role model are you if you swear in public, young man!!!??", snapped the little girl's mother.

"A United States Citizen!!" I yell back.

_HONK! HONK!_

"What are you still honking at me!?"

"Just turn around jerk!" yelled Bigfoot.

AHHHHHHH! I'm driving on the sidewalk! AAHHHH AGAIN! The lights is yellow!

HURRY! HURRY! HURRY!

....

....

I"m guessing that you know what happened next.

....

....

_We-wo-we-wo-we-wo_.

Went the police car.

Stupid police dude!

"Hello Officer." Play cool Cooper. Just play cool.

"Do you know you ran a stop light, son?" He asked.

"Uh....yes Sir. But I'm Chad Dylan Cooper, will you let me go?" Please say yes! Please say yes!

"What do you I am, kid!? A girlfan!"

"I was hoping. Mr.-" I stopped to read his name tag "-Dick Burns"

Then I started laughing.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Get a hold of yourself, boy. That's my name."

"Sorry Sir."

Then he took out a pad and wrote down my ticket.

"Here." He said.

Then got in his car and left.

I caught a look at his bumper.

He had a sticker that said

**'So Random is the Randomest show ever!'**

WHAT!!??

That _Dick Burns_ is _T.V. ist_!

...

Hey. Its just one ticket. I bit I could hide it from my mom and just pay it when I get my next paycheck.

...

...

**_No Big Deal._**

**_

* * *

_**

**Thanks for reading it all. :D**

**Sorry if this chapter may have been a little.....uh.....gross or unneeded..**

**With the police officer's name and all.**

**....  
**

**REVIEW or your name is Mr. Dick Burns!**

**Oh and **

**P.S. Don't be mad at me if your name is really Dick Burns. :)  
**


	3. Bigfoot Was Eating His Toenails

**Ok. This chapter was shorter.**

**But I had a little time writing it.**

**You guys remember Bigfoot and the little girl's mother from the last chapter? Well...there in this one again.**

**I hope you enjoy this. Its not my favorite chapter. But the next chapter will be out soon. Ok?**

**Thanks!**

**~Juliet**

**Disclaimer: I own some of this story but not all of it. Not SWAC or Chad that for sure. **

**P.S. Fountain Ave. and N Vermont Ave. are real streets that I know. I had a tough time thinking of the street crossed Fountain Ave. I hope I got it right!  
**

* * *

**Ticket Number: 2**

**Who: Chad Dylan Cooper**

**Time: 12:00 p.m. (a.k.a. Lunchtime!)  
**

**Date: September, 3, 2009**

**Where: Fountain Ave., Hollywood, CA**

**Cost: $470.00 Dollars**

**Reason: 'The guy next to me was eating his toenails'**

"Where are you going, Chad? The cafeteria is the other way, you know." I heard a familiar voice behind me. I turn around.

"Sonny."

"Chad"

"Monroe"

"Cooper"

"What do you want?"

"Uh...nothing. It just that your going the wrong way."

"Chad Dylan Cooper never goes the wrong way!"

"Well sorry that I bothered you and your ego.", she laughs.

"Ha Ha. I'm not eating in the cafeteria today, I'm going out to lunch." I say proudly.

"Oh. Can I com-"

"No."

"Awww.....why?!", she whines.

"Because its Chad time. Now walk away."

"Sorry I bothered 'Chad Time'.", and she walks away.

_Too Bad I couldn't let her come. _

_...._

Hmm.....what to eat? What to eat? Taco Bell'? Jack-In-The-Box? Carl's Jr.? Mexican Restaurant that I can't read the name of? Uh...No. No. No. And how would no what I'm eating, so no. .....I could go home and make lunch for myself. Nah...I wouldn't make it. My chef would. Hmm.......I will go to McDonald's'. I haven't been there since I was like eight.

_Turn. Turn. Turn._

Stupid Purple and yellow striped car! Who even has a car like that!? I looked at the license plate.

"I guess someone from New Mexico." I said out loud. I didn't know that till the guy next to me looked at me.

"Uh...Hi!" I said.

"Sup.", he said Who's says 'Sup.'? It sounds like what a weird company what call a straw in a commercial.

**'Sup! Try your Sup! You'll now greet people that way!'**

Then I looked closer at him.

"Hey your that fat Bigfoot guy!' I say excited.

'What did you call me?"

"Uh...Fat Bigfoot Guy?" I thought I was clear enough. Maybe Bigfoot needs to check his ears.

"You know that rude to call people that, young man!", oh there's that little girl's mom again. Is everybody here that I saw from the last time! I wonder if that means I'll get another ticket again if I'm with these people!

...Nah.....

"FAT BIGFOOT GUY! FAT BIGFOOT GUY!" I yelled at Bigfoot. I think his head turned red.

"Why don't you say that to my face?!", he howling.

"But I did!", I say.

He gets out of my car and he kicks my car.

_Wow, he's got big feet, maybe that's why he's got no shoes._

"Ouch!", he crys HA! That's what you get for kicking my car, Bigfoot! Hey it works because he's feet are really big.

_So he is a big baby too? Ha! Who knew!?_

He falls to the ground and starts to suck on his toe.

_GROSS! Hey, my Bigfoot, needs to go see my Spa Salon._

Then he starts to bite his toes.

_GROSS again! Ok Bigfoot, go do that somewhere else. Your making yourself look weird. Its rush hour to lunch and the light has been red for about 3 minutes......_

_Stupid Red light!_

"What did you do to him!?" yelled a lady from a car.

"Nothing!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" I here Bigfoot yell. He toe is now bleeding!

_UGH! What?! TOO MY CAR!_

_Come on, car. Turn on. YES!_

_Now go! GO! GO! _

Why is he following me!? What did I do!? Does he think 'Bigfoot' is a new curse fashion statement!?....Well he might, he does look probably 56 maybe. And truly has not been in P.E. class for a long time.

Run Big Man! RUN!

...

I got to run this light again! Sorry light!

....

....

....

_We-wo we-wo we-wo we-o_

WHAT!? I say run for it! I'll be on the news!

Wait no. I shouldn't. Mom wouldn't be happy.....I'm such a mama's boy.

_**Ok. Fine Mother! I'll pull over. But it was Bigfoot and he eaten toenails fault! **_

_I mean really. Couldn't have he have waited till he got to Carl's Jr. and got some mustard and pepper on his toe before eating it. Wow! I guess Fat Bigfoot can't wait for green lights. _

"You know that you ran a red light, son?" said the police officer.

"Oh hi Dick Burns! Long time, no see!" I say, and make my famous million dollar smile.

"Don't try to charm me, boy."

"Sorry Sir."

"You do know that you ran a guy over?"

"I what!?"

I turn my head around and look out my back window to see Bigfoot in the middle of the cross way of Fountain Ave. and N Vermont Ave.

_Awh poor guy._

"Look he getting up. He's fine. Wait what!!?? He's running to my car! I got to get out of here. Ticket please!", I grab the ticket out of Mr. Dick Burns hand and speed off.

_To The Condor Studios! _

I look at my watch.

12:48

Well, Lunchtime is over and I got to film the new episode of Mackenzie Falls in 12 minutes. So...I got to go, I just steal Portlyn's strawberry smoothie.

_Or maybe Sonny's bad food, that way I can talk to her.....Wait what?!_

.....

Then I look at my ticket

...WHAT?!

....

I got another one.

I still got to pay for my other one.

....

Oh well.. Another time.

...

**Right?**

* * *

**AH! I hope there was no spelling errors!**

**.....**

**REVIEW or your get ran over by Chad in the middle of the street.**


	4. The Teasing Birdies

**I promised a new chapter soon. So here it is!**

**Wow! I can't believe it! 51 reviews in 3 chapters!**

**Thanks SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!**

**~Juliet**

**Disclaimer: Walk away.**

* * *

**Ticket Number: 3**

**Who: Chad Dylan Cooper (a.k.a. Mr. Flightless Dude)**

**Time: 5:00 a.m.**

**Date: September, 6, 2009  
**

**Where: Hollywood Fwy. on-ramp, Hollywood, CA**

**Cost: 570.00 dollars**

**Reason: 'The birds were teasing me.'**

*Peep. Peep. Peep. Peep. Peep*

"Shut up, Alarm Clock!" I yell.

*Peep. Peep. Peep. Peep. Peep*

"You alarm clocks just don't listen!" I yell

"Chad, honey, you have to get to work." My mother says sweetly.

"What time is it?" I ask half asleep.

She looks at the alarm clock. "4: 30"

"AH! I'm going to be late!"

"They get your lazy butt up!"

"She ma'am!", I solute my mother and run to the shower and quick change into my work clothes. I know, right. Can you believe that I, THE Chad Dylan Cooper, changed fast.

"Bye Mom!" and I run out the door.

"You forgot to give her mommy a kiss goodbye!"

"What am I 6?!" I groan. But hurry over a plant a kiss on my mother cheek.

"Bye Hon!" she smiles as I pull away in my car.

...Ok. Lets see, which street do I turn on? Sunset Blvd.? Uh....I think I passed it. Uh no.

Ok...hmm.....lets find the Freeway......

Hmm.....why is the road busy today?

I thought people wake up at noon all the time. Who knew this 'Normal Nobody Nation' had lives. I, for sure, didn't.

What is going on?! Is there a car crash somewhere?! Hmm.....I don't know if I will be able to make it to the Freeway because they maybe blocking the on-ramp. UGH!

Now I'm stuck in traffic!? Oh boy! I wonder if what I'm in is what those 'Normal Nobody Nation' people call 'Rush Hour'? I never been in a 'Rush Hour' before. But I always thought 'Rush Hour' was at noon or 5 p.m. NOT at........Wait! I need to look at the clock.......4:56 a.m. in the morning! What's up with that?!

Well, I need something to help me pass the time. What to do? What to do? Hmm....I will 'observe' the life around me.....What am I a scientist?!

Hey look a Grandma!

Hey look a bike riding dude!

Hey look a motorcycle dude!

Hey look a guy with burger!

Hey look ..........birds?

Awh! Luckies! They have wings. I wish I was a bird right now! I could fly over all these people and tell them that there all loser because they can't fly.

The bird look so pretty those. With there pretty wings and different colors, can fly, lay eggs and can fly. Did I say that they can fly?

*Splat*

IDIOT BIRDS! NO WONDER YOUR RELATED TO BIG BIRD! YOUR ALL STUPID! YOU WILL PAY FOR MY CAR WASH!

*More birds fly over Chad's car and some look at him and flap their wings*

You are evil birds! It just like I'm back in grade school again when I was teased about not having a power ranger lunch pail. Well I bet all those dudes that did have that lunch pail are all pot-heads now. When I can have ALL the power ranger lunch pail I want now!

*Birds stare at Chad*

What?! Fin!! You guys can fly. "But can you drive a car!"

The guy next to me, stares at me. "Uh...Hi!" I say.

Man! I really need to stop saying my thoughts out loud.

Ok. I need to get out of this traffic.

...Ok there. Now I need to find the Freeway.

'Hollywood Fwy' I read a sign. Hey that was fast.

Ok why is there a line? 'Move when light is on green. One car at a time.' I read another sign.

Oh your kidding me?! 'No we are not kidding you' I read the bumper sticker of the car in front of me.

Ha ha!

Now there is one car in front of me. The light goes green. The car moves.

Now I'm waiting for the light to turn green. *The birds stare at me again*

"I do NOT have time for this!" I howled.

And I step on the gas and speed off before the light turns green!

"BET THAT BIRDIES!!" I scream out my window!

....

*we-wo-we-wo-we-wo*

UGH! Are you kidding me?

"And I thought you'd learn your listen, boy?"

"Hi Dick."

"Here's your ticket."

"What I don't get a 'Hi Chad'.

"Hi Flightless Idiot! Bye Flightless Idiot!" Dick leaves the car

I yell out the window "What kind of Officer calls a guy a Idiot!?"

"The one named Dick Burns!" He says and gets in his car and drives away.

....

IDIOT BIRDS!

....

IDIOT WINGS!

....

IDIOT HUMANS THAT ARE NOT BIRDS AND DON'T HAVE WINGS!

....

Well.....I'm already late, so lets go home and call in sick.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

**....**

**REVIEW or you will be a Flightless Dude! (But wait. You already are. Opps!)  
**


	5. I Adopted Baaab The Goat

**Believe it or not. But I don't like this chapter.**

**Its not that funny. And its TOO MUCH lyric.**

**Please don't be mad at me. Its the last day of vacation.**

**I hope I will be able to update a lot. Even when I have school.  
**

**~Juliet**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the song 'Billy Goat'. Don't own all the rappers that were named.**

**Oh and...**

**P.S. **

**I don't hate country music! I LOVE country music.  
**

* * *

**Ticket Number: 4**

**Who: Chad Dylan Cooper (The guy that listens to lame stupid country music) and Baaab The Goat  
**

**Time: 6:55 p.m.**

**Date: September, 8, 2009**

**Where: Melrose Ave, Hollywood, CA**

**Cost: 670.00 dollars**

**Reason: 'I adopted a goat.'**

_'Young man never knew what he wanted_

_Check it out, you see Billy wanted every women in the world_

_But didn't want to get them returned_

_Tried his best to swing in_

_But it didn't work_

_So he gotta be down for the right babe_

_.._

_Billy Goat moved over to the east coast  
_

_Well he never knew his name_

_But he'd always get what he want_

_But Billy even had a girl_

_But he called her 'friend'_

_Didn't like to claim her name_

_He likes to play the game_

...

Well here I am. Listening to the radio on some station where a old guy's talking in a country voice. I bet his wearing some overall too!

_'You gotta be down, down!' _I sang. Man this song is getting stuck in my head.

Well....its my fault anyway!

Because I keep calling the radio station asking them to play this song again. Ha Ha!

Maybe cause its got me thinking about goats. Weird as it is.

Now I want to go home and tell my mom that we are ONLY drinking goat milk.

_'Billy told Betty he was leavin' town!' _I sung. But it turned out to be more of a scream, because people started yelling at me.

"Hey Boy! We don't need to here your lame stupid country music!!" One person yelled.

"Why don't you listen to music from are time!! " Another yelled

"Yeah. Change the station and go to **AMP Radio** and listen to **REAL** singers like **Vanilla Ice**!" Screamed a girl

"What are you talking about! Vanilla Ice sucks! **Nas** rules!" Screamed a guy at the girl

"WHAT??!! **NAS** IS A IDIOT!" howled another person.

"**Lil Wayne** for evaaaaa!!" Yelled a teenager girl

"**Lil Jon**!" Yelled a man

"**Lil Jon** is figgin ugly ,yo!!" yelled a teenager boy

"Your figgin ugly, yo!" yelled the man

"**Big L** is always in are hearts!!" yelled a mother

"**Hannah Montana!**!" screamed a little girl

"**Hannah Montana** is a bit-"

I rolled my window of my car up. I DIDN'T need to hear people fight about rappers AND Hannah Montana. Because Chad Dylan Cooper is clearly the best.....even if I don't rap.

_You gotta be down, down!'_ ...Man, I need to find myself a goat!

...

Hey look a goat!! Hey my wish came true!

There is a guy in the middle of the street with a goat. 'Goat For Sale! Hobo needs money.....and a toilet.' GROSS! Don't tell us that, dude!

Well should I pull over?!

...Nah....

I'll just stop in the middle of the road and let people admire my car and go around me.

_*STOP!*_

"I'd like to buy this goat off yours!" I smile at the hobo. Hobo! Hobo! I love that word. Hobo! Hobo!

The HOBO, smiles back at me. _GROSS AGAIN! Dude! You need to brush your teeth more and not eat rocks. _

_*Sniff Sniff* AND take a shower._

"That will be 100,000 dollars please." the Hobo says

"HECK NO!"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"JUST GAVE ME YOUR DAMN MONEY FOUL!!" He yelled and trying to get his hand in my pocket to steal my wallet.

Well this hobo doesn't have a good language........

"WHAT?! NO! COME ON BAAAB!" And I grab the goat and race back to my car with the hobo chasing me.

I get in the car and buckle Baaab in on the shot gun seat. I grab the wheel and step on the gas and race off.

"PEACE SUCKAS!!!!" I bawled.

....

_we-wo-we-wo-we-wo_

Are you kidding me??!!

"Hey Dick."

"Hey Chad....and goat? What's that thing?" He points at the goat.

'Its not a THING. Its Baaab The Goat." I say proudly.

"Hi Bob. Here's your ticket." and he walks away.

I shout out my window "Its not 'Bob'! Its Baaab!!"

I look at my watch.

"I got to head home!" then I look at Baaab. "Mom doesn't like goats....hmm....I'll take you to Sonny. You'll really like her."

And I turn on the radio.

_'Billy don't tell me that your feeling bad_

_The only way you can do that is if your feelin' sad_

_Well, well, well I always heard you were a strong man_

_And the word around is that man won't hang there head'_

Please don't tell me your feeling bad, _Baaab_!

* * *

**PLEASE HAVE NO SPELLING ERRORS!**

**...**

**...  
**

**REVIEW or you will be _Baaab_!**


	6. Bigfoot Was In A Fight

**Sorry for not updating!**

**I've been school busy. And Twitter busy.**

**ANYWAYS,**

**I'd like to tell you all that.....**

**SWAC FAN 9546**

**IS**

**BAAAB!**

**SWAC FAN wanted to be.....so SWAC FAN is! :D**

**...**

**Songs in this Chapter:**

**Little Miss Little Lover By: _Jimi Hendrix _and I'm Driving By: **_**Always Juliet**_** (LOL!)**

**...**

**Disclaimer: I know what I own and what I don't, thank you very much.  
**

* * *

**Ticket Number: 5  
**

**Who: _Bully_ Chad Dylan Cooper  
**

**Time: MIDNIGHT  
**

**Date: September 15, 2009  
**

**Where: Vine Street, Hollywood, CA  
**

**Cost: $770.00 Dollars**

******Reason: '**I beat up the guy that was eating his toenails**_.'_**

_'Excuse me while I see if the gypsy in me is right  
If you don't mind'_

.....I sung, while walking through the halls of Condor Studios at night. The writers for 'Mackenzie Falls' were so stupid to leave all there donuts and other junk food out in the writers room. But of course they always do because the number 1 show has a maid and a butler. Even if we were number one, that doesn't make our writers number 1......there really low. Not even 'Randoms'! There worse! There 'Cavemen!'!

ANYWAYS,

because the 'Cavemen' are pigs, I had to take the time to clean the writers room. It was really hard work! My cell phone was dead so I had to call the maid on a pay phone! The maid's name is Fifi, she is a french maid. But it took her about....seem I'd say 3 minutes to get back to the studio. She said it was 11 at night and she is of work. I told her that if she didn't come....she was be fired.....out a canon.

...So here I am now....

Walkin' through the halls. Trying to find something to do with my life......

Well....my mom is worried, I bet.....so lets go home......

*Girl says 'Chad*

AHHHH!!!! WHAT WAS THAT?!

*Girl say louder 'Chad'*

I'VE SEEN THESE KIND OF HORROR MOVIES!!!

*BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!*

O.K. Where is this pranker!?

*Girl Screams 'CHAD!!!!!!!!!!'*

'WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????' I scream

"Hi Chad!", Sonny says.

..I'm holding my face in my hands and I peek my eye through a hole between my fingers.

"Ohhhhh...Hey Sonny.....and Baaab."

"Um yeah....you can have your lamb back, he ate my sketch."

"Give me a high five, buddy!"I laugh and put my hand near Baaab's paw. And Baaab happily gaves me a high five. "P.S. He is a goat. Not a lamb. Right Baaab!?"

*Baaaaaa*

"SEE!" I cheer.

"Whatever. Now please take your goat."

"How about I pay you?"

"How much?"

"100" and I hold it up

"Deal!" She yells, grabs the money, and Baaab lensh and runs down the hall to her dressing room.

I just smile and walk to my car.

........

'_I'm driving. Driving. Driving Driving.'_

_...._I sung. Wow...their is nobody on the road. I wonder what people who work at night, do. Because the guy that works at a gas station must just sit there and play cards with themselves.

Hey look! There is somebody on the road.....in the middle of a road.....I think they don't have gas or something.

Hmm?

Is Chad having a good day?

Yes?

No?

Maybe?

.....eh.....I think he is.

So I will help him.

He's driving one of those monster trucks with the horns on them. The cars red and black.

I hope he's not a drunk guy. Just thank goodness I'm not near a bar in NYC on a Friday night of football that is the last day of school........Whoo would I be toast.

"Hey dude, do you need help?!" I yelled up to the monster truck window. Wow....convertible are really small.

"Hi butterfl-HE--HEY YO-YU-YOU-R T-H-AT JER-JE-JERK!!!!!"

WHAT THE HECK!?

Bigfoot!?!

Drunk Bigfoot!

*Bigfoot gets out of his car and jumps up of my car* You get of my car! NOW BIGFOOT!.........I roll up my windows and watch a drunk bigfoot hurt himself by kicking my car over and over again.

I finally find a way to get out of the car without getting a hairy hand in my face.

And I run behind Bigfoot and punch him in the back of the neck.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" He cheered.

Wow! Drunk people get thing mixed up.

I punch him again in the stomach. Then the face. He starting to bleed again.

Please don't eat your toenails dude!

But he just fells to the floor.

.....

I hope he's not dead.

...But Chad Dylan Cooper comes first.

So I hop in my car and see that the light turned red but I race through the light....

*Click! Click!*

Are you kidding me?! I hate those street cameras....I'm going to get a ticket in the mail soon.........

UGH!

Just think god that where is no more Dick Burns.

....

*I look at my fuel.*

Hey I need gas. To the gas station.

...

As I'm filling up my gas, I look behind me and see Bigfoot.....

Maybe I should go get him.......

* * *

**Too Be Continued.....**

* * *

**Umm....yeah. Not my best... :(**

**...**

**REVIEW or you will be beaten up by Chad  
**


	7. 911, Bigfoot got Beat Up

**Why do I anyways make these Author Notes long? I'll make it short and sweet today:**

**Why do you guys find this story interesting?**

**...Just a question I want to know the answer to. :)**

**~Juliet**

* * *

**Ticket Number: 6  
**

**Who: _Babysitter Liar Bully_ Chad Dylan Cooper  
**

**Time: 1 a.m.  
**

**Date: September 15, 2009  
**

**Where: Vine Street and Maring Ave., Hollywood, CA  
**

**Cost: $770.00 Dollars**

**********Reason: '**I called 911 because the guy that ate his toenails got beaten up.'

UGH....

Why did Sonny have to rub her kindness on me?! I'm Chad Dylan Cooper! I don't DO kindness! Well...I do to Sonny.....SOMETIMES.

*I look at Bigfoot*

Man, Bigfoot's gonna sue me. Man, I'm gonna be in jail for a long time. 'CHAD DYLAN COOPER IS A MURDERER!', I can see the headlines now. I can see Sonny crying. My mom crying. Bigfoot's father, Yowie, crying.

BUT....maybe I could hire someone to write me a script to say to the judge so.....

I'm getting off topic!

I need to save Bigfoot!

...I really need to learn his name.....Maybe its Biggfoo. ....I don't know!

*Gets in car and driving back to Bigfoot*

"Hey Bigfoot! Dude! Are you O.K.?" I yell in his ear.

"mmmmmhhmmhmhmhmhmhmhnnn"

"Oh yeah...I totally understand you."

"mmmmnmmmhmhhmhmhmhm!!!!"

"I know! I AM the greatest actor of all time!"

"mmhhmmhmhmh!!!"

"Oh really?"

"mmhhmhmmh"

"Oh yeah. I feel the same way."

"mhmmhmhmhmhmh!!!!!!!!"

"FINE! I'll call 911!"

*Beep. Beep. Beep*

"Hello, um, I have found a drunk man in the middle of a street. I...uh...think he is injured."

_"Where are you?"_

*I look at the street sign*

"Vine Street".

_"What are the nearest cross streets?"_

"Waring"

_"Do you know this man?"_

"No."

_"Are you alone?"_

Uh...I'm with the man.

_"What does the man look like?"_

"He's big and has feet. He's looks like Bigfoot." He IS Bigfoot!

_"How is he injured?"_

"He is bleeding on his face, he can't talk because his jaw is broken, and he said that his stomach hurts."

_"O.K. We will be on are way, Son."_

Why do Police like to call me 'Son'!? It makes me think of Sonny...a little.

But really! I am NOT related to them! They just WISH they were related to Chad! Oh yes! T

he Police watch 'Mackenzie Falls' in thous coffee shops with their chocolate donuts and all.

....

(10 minutes ago by)

_'Wait. Wait Wait! WAIT!'_

....I sung as I sat on the curb. Watching no cars go by.

I wish I lived in New York City, because that is the city that never sleeps!

And I probably would be able to find an open diner there! But NO! Hollywood just HAD to be in California. There isn't even any Holly Tree here anymore!

...But I guess I wouldn't want to be in New York City, because then they would know that I hurt Bigfoot, and I'd be in jail already!

...What are thous cops doing?! How long does it take to eat a whole box of donuts!?!

"How are you doing, Bigfoot?!"

"mmhmhmh!"

"But I just gave you a piece of gum and you stuck it up your nose."

"mhmhmh."

"Its not my fault that your drunk."

"mhmhmhmh"

"O.K. Fine. Don't talk to me. I don't need to talk to you! You know why?! Because I got quitter!"

*I glab my phone out and start queeting*

*we-wo-we-wo-we-wo-we*

Finally you people finished your donuts!

"Are you the one that called, Son?" asked a police.

"Yes."

"Did you see what happened to him?"

"uh........"

*I run to my car and speed away*

"HEYYYY!!!!" yells......Dick Burns....uh oh.....

*Click Click*

Oh great. Another ticket.....I'm so bad. Haha.

* * *

**That was a freaky ending, don't you think?**

**I know this chapter was short. But it was a continue anyways! :P  
**

**....**

**REVIEW or your name MUST be Biggfoo!**


	8. Mr Cole Fubo Burns

**Wait a second.....**

***Grabs a shield and sword***

**Ok....Now I'm ready for you to attack me...**

***Gulp***

**Anyways....I'd like to thank**_** LivinTheDream17**_

**For making me write this next chapter even if she really didn't.**

**She asked if she could finish this story if I didn't.....I answer is....NOOO!!!! But I will update this story as much as I can**

**I swear!**

**BUT....**

**This chapter is dedicated to _LivinTheDream17_**

**~Juliet  
**

* * *

**Ticket Number: 7**

**Who: **_**Name-Calling **_**Chad Dylan Cooper**

**Time: ****4:35 A.M!!!**

**Date: November 24, 2009**

**Where: Victory Blv., North Hollywood, CA**

**Cost: $870.00 Dollars**

**Reason:****'**I called the police officer a 'Fubo''

"K-EARTH 101!!", going the radio on a Tuesday morning.

I am going to work…..Oh Boy! I so need to get in my 'Chad-Mood'. But today is Tuesday.

Tuesdays ALWAYS needs an……UUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Oh Come ON??!!!

Who DOESN'T HATE Tuesdays……Well my mom doesn't…but that's a different story….

She calls Tuesday 'The-Day-My-Chaddykins-Wheres-Purple-Which-Is-My-Favorite-Color-Day'

How is it possible to wear Purple on every Tuesday!! I don't even notice!

Gosh!

Anyways….Always….and back to the topic…..

I

Chad Dylan Cooper

THE CDC

THE King of Drama

THE Hero

THE Mastermind behind The Purple Clothes On Tuesday….

(Which is totally going to be a new fashion once I tell the Tween Weekly.)

IS

IN A

BAD MOOD ON TUESDAY!

*Gasp!*

"I am not!!!" I yelled

An Old Couple pulled next to my car at a red light. The old lady look at me……

"Do teenagers read minds theses days, Bill?"

"I don't know, Honey.", her husband answered

…..Ok…What was that lady thinking about?!

…Maybe about me being a random…

Or maybe being the President!....

Mr. President Chad Dylan Cooper…I like it!

OR….maybe about teenagers being stupid and dumb theses days…..

*Gasp!!!*

I hope not that! But then maybe……

"I AM NOT STUPID, YA OLD CRICKET!!!", I yelled at the Old-Couple-Car that pulled away.

Ha...Cricket

*1 minute later*

……YAY!

I yelled at someone for the first time without getting hurt or getting a ticket! I'm on a role!

….*5 seconds later*

*we-wo-we-wo-we*

Oh so you invisible person-computer-people-iphone-people knew it was coming, huh?!!

Oh shut up! I'm not THAT guessable….

OR........

Am I?

Oh no!

Maybe I should be a Street Cleaner!

Cause EVERYBODY knows that they clean HOUSES!

DUH!

….Wait what?

"Son, I'm going to have to give you a ticket." Said the Police Officer.

"What?! WHY?! I didn't run a light!!!" I yelled

"Remember the last cross street you pasted……"

"Yeah….."

"Well, you yelled at that poor old couple…WE DO NOT YELL AT OLD PEOPLE!"

"Whatever…"

"You need to give a Police Officer some respect too!"

"I'll show you some respect YOU IDIOT Y-Y-YOU………

(Why did I not think?!!)

**Fubo!'**

...Bad Chaddy…Bad Chaddy….Your Mama taught you better then that!

"A what?!"

"Uh…..Fubo….."

"We also do not call Police names!"

*He grabs a paper and pen and write who-knows-what.*

"Here….a ticket for hurting a cops feelings……" *He starts to cry*

Wow….dude…..I made a cop cry…

and REALLY Cry at that……..

....*Silence*

*Silence*

*Silence*

I looked at his name tag "Hi My Name Is Cole Burns"

Ha...I get it.....Cole Burns....Ha...That mother is cool....

Wait....

Wait...

Wait.....A Chad Second!

Burns......

As in DICK Burns...

That guy that gives me a ticket....

Has a Brother!

Cool!

....Hmmm.....That makes sense.....

Both Dick and Cole are Balddies........

Because not EVERYBODY can have

Chad Dylan Cooper hair.

If they did....

They I wouldn't be special.

*Gasp*

But I'm of course special anyways!

*The Crying gets louder*

Cry, Cole, Cry!

I ROCK!

*Ba-Doom-Doom*

* * *

**Hmm.........**

**REVIEW OR you will become a Balddies!  
**


	9. My Sonny Skates

**Yes! Two Chapters in a row! Yayz!**

**Please read!**

**And I put Channy in this one!**

**You'll love it!**

**And it is your choice to think it was a date for Chad and Sonny or not!**

**Muahahahhahahha!**

**:)  
**

**~Juliet**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the chapter.....**

* * *

**Ticket Number: 8  
**

**Who: The Skate Master Chad****  
**

**Time: ****9:28 P.M.  
**

**Date: November 25, 2009**

**Where: ****N Parthenia Pl****, Sepulveda****, CA**

**Cost: $970.00 Dollars**

**Reason:****'I threw a shoe at the police officer.**'

GRRRR!!!!!

I can't believe Sonny had me drive up to North Hills JUST to go to skateland......

You said that I needed a cheer-up!

I DO NOT!!!!!!!!

Well, maybe a little....

But I think she is just trying to butter me up so that I will take Baab back.

I will not.

Mom doesn't want Baab and thinks that I sold him already. But no.....

Baab's with Sonny.

Baab is becoming a big star now anyways. He was on So Random as 'Tina''s girlfriend......

I am that Sonny had to beg 'Tina' to do that. 'Tina" thought Baab was **dirty**....can you believe that?!! Baab...dirty!.....

Wait, hmm....I wouldn't know any of the last two sentences I said........

*Sigh in relief*

Good save my man, CDC.

Anyways......I'm driving home with these skates that I let Sonny have me buy....haha....

Not that I like her over something....and it was NOT date....

Uh....Anyways....I have these smelly skates....

I'm totally going to get them customized with the name "CDC" on the side, of course!

Then I will be the Chad Dylan Cooper in style....

even with a flower, rainbow, and sun on the side.

....*Sigh*

Sonny picked them. *Frown* I really shouldn't let Sonny control my life **_NOW_**. Uh...*Wink*Wink*?

Anyways, If my assistant laughs at them....he is fired!

Its good to have power, right?!

"STOP TALKING ON THE PHONE, YOU LONER!!"

Yep.....Its good to have power.

"Chad! Don't be mean!", says The Voice

.....Uh.....

I'm taking Sonny home.

I told her that I shouldn't do that and that I have 'Mad Luck' on the road....

But she called me Conceited and got in my car.....

And here we are.....

at a red light.........

Do Not Press The Gas Petal Chad! You Here Me, Chad! I, Chad here you, Chad. Good, Chad.

"Uh Chad? Are you even listening to me?!", said Sonny.

"Uh What?!"

"CHAD?!"

"What?!"

"Are you listening to me?!"

"Now I am!"

"Oh My Gosh, Chad! You really are conceited!"

"Hey!", I yell "I was just daydreaming!"

"Oh you were, huh?! How did you even get your license anyways?! By hitting on the driver instructor?!"

"NO! I GOT IT LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE! I'M NOT THAT BAD, YOU KNOW?!"

'NO I DO NOT KNOW!"

"Fine."

"FINE!"

"Why did I even let you come with me?! GOD!"

*Silence*

*Silence*

Sonny is looking out the window...I think she is crying...

And she isn't "Mr. Cole Fubo Cry Baby Burns"

........

Oh no!

.........

Chad! Get your stupid foot of the gas, Chad!

*Sooooommmmmmm*

"CHAD SLOW DOWN!!", Sonny screamed as the car ran that red light FAST.

"IT WAS AN MISTAKE!!"I yelled

*we-wo-we-wo-we-wo*

"Chad!", Sonny cryed "That is the police! I can't go to jail! I'm too good!" She put her head on my shoulder.

"Hey you two......What were you thinking!?", Said the Police.

I know that voice.......Dick Burns.

"I"M SORRY!", Sonny said quickly and put her head in her lap.

He shines a light in my eyes.

"Ok. Good." He says, "Your not drunk. Is she?"

"We were a Skateland! Of course were not drunk!" I said.

What will make him go away.....My shoe.....

I grab it...

And throw it at him!

HAHA!

"OUCH!! WHAT THE FU-"

*He writes down a..........ticket **Sigh** *

"Here." He *He sighs* "Please don't run red lights....I has been told not to yell at me......" He leaves.

.....Well......Here it comes!.....

"I can't believe that you got a ticket!!!" Sonny yells.

"Its just one ticket....." I said.

.....I mean....

8 *Cough*Cough*

"Let me take you home Sonny."

* * *

**REVIEW OR you will NEVER get a Skate with 'CDC' on it!  
**


	10. The Controling Honks!

**Hey Guys....**

**I felt bad that I have not been updating much.....**

**my last two chapters were a little bad, don't you know?!**

**Anyways.......**

**Happy Holidays you all! (I'm making sure that I am politically correct on that! Haha!)**

**Anyways....**

**Thanks you guys so much for making my year of being a Fan Fiction author lovely! **

**:) **

**~Juliet**

**Disclaimer: Nu-ah! No-way!.....Sadly......  
**

* * *

**Ticket Number: 9**

**Who: Chad Dylan Cooper**

**Time: 4:03 pm**

**Date: December 22, 2009**

**Where: Beverly Blvd. , West Hollywood, CA**

**Cost: $1070**

**Reason: 'People honked at me'**

I'm on a roll! No driving ticket in a few weeks. But Sonny did say that Baaab got her a ticket.

For WHAT?!

Is their a law now that you can't drive a car with a goat in it?!

OR....

*Sigh* Baaab is learning from in old man.....But I'm not old..I'll tell you that!

But....

you never know. Maybe I am starting to grow nose hairs........that are gray!

'AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!'

*Honk!*

'WHAT?! AM I NOT ALLOW TO SCREAM IN MY OWN CAR?! I GOT A GRAY NOSE HAIR!!! I'M UGLY NOW!!'

*An old man glares at me*

...Ummmm....sir-....Sor-Sorry Sir.

......*Grumble Grumble Grumble*

But still.......hmm....I think I will plan for a spa day tomorrow?

What?! Guy's can get one too!

....I don't care if you disagree....

your a figure of my imagination anyways.

You see....

I was a troubled child....and my mom showed me......

what is now a good friend of mine...Mr. Frog....

Mr. Frog always understands me.....

.....Mr. Frog told me that talking to myself is okay sometimes.

Even my psychiatrist.....Mr. Dude (I forgot his name AGAIN)......agrees.

'He agrees...that I am not crazy.'

*Honk!*

'WHAT?! I'M NOT!!!'

*Honk!*

'MAYBE A LITTLE!'

*Honk!*

'DO YOU JUST LIKE TO MAKE A GUY FEEL BAD!!!'

*HONK! HONK! HONK!*

'MAN!!!!'

*HOOOOOOO--------OOOOOONK!!!!*

*Sigh* Anyways...where did my brain and I leave off.....

*HONK!*

I thoug-

*HONK!*

.....Grrrrr.....

*HONK!!!*

That is enough, dude! Its so uncool!

....now....where is my baseball bat?!

*Opens door and gets out of car*

'WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, DUDE!?! MY MONEY OR SOMETHING!?! I JUST WANT TO GO HOME WITHOUT PEOPLE LISTENING TO MY CONVERSATION WITH MR. FROG!!!'

(*Cough Cough* Not that you want anybody to listen to our conversation. *Cough Cough*)

"Mr. Frog!??! *Gasp* Your not telling me that your a guy that takes illegal African Clawed Frogs across the border lines to Nevada, are you?!', said the old guy's wife.

'Africa whata whata what?!'

'African Clawed Frogs!!!!', she yells in my ear.

What does she think?! That I'm her husband!?! I wouldn't marry that girl....she has old lady wrinkles!

'African Clawed Frogs.' I say

'Yeah...Duh!'

....Ok....ummmm.......Old Lady's with moles that have moles on them and about a trillion wrinkles on just the their nose.......

should NOT say the word DUH!

'EXCUSE ME, SON?!!!?' She screams

...What is with me and saying things out loud!

'What's with old people thinking I'm their son?!' I say

The word 'DUH!' is a word that would be used in the species of the So Random 'Tawnoinn Blondie', I think is her name.....

I could be wrong....you never know....

'YOU, SON, ARE A-A-A--------'

I guess idiots like her can't swear....because she went into her car and.....

*HONK! HONK! HONKED! HONKING! HONKS! HONK DE HONK HONKED*ed..............at me....Man!

Man.......Man......Man!.......My ears hurt!

'Walter get the belt! People don't seem to raise children the way they did in the 1930's!!'

Dang....Walter...and whatever her name are OLD!

This Walter dude starts chasing me down the middle of traffic....

With his belt in his hand.....

....and his pants felling down....

I'm laughing my head of because it is SOOO funny.....

I'm jumping over cars....

and he is hitting them in the head....

he picks up his glasses....

and starts chasing me again.....

People start honking at me....

Not him.....

They yell.......

'CHAD DYLAN COOPER SUCKS!!!!'

....At least I think they are saying that.....

...Screw them.....

*Honk!*

...Screw you too, old lady.........

.and your mole's mole's grandmoles too!

....

I run...in a complete circle...

get in my car....and close my windows.....

I plan to act like nothing ever happened....

But then....

*Honk!*

*Honk de Honk!*

*HONK!*

*Honk!*

These 'honks' are talking to me....

they are saying....

'Hey Chad.....run that red light....you are DE man.......don't listen to that light.....get away from the mole lady and guy with no pants...........Running a red light is in your blood....blood.....blood.....blood......'

...You got it, Mr. Honks!

You know what, I think I'm kicking Mr. Frog out of my head....Mr. Honks....Welcome to the Chad Dylan Goldfarb-Cooper Brain! Were its a drama show every day!

......

*wa-wo-wa-wo-wa-wo-wa*

....'Hey Dick!'

.....'Hey Idiot!'

....'What?!' I say

....'Don't you dare make my brother Cole Burns.....cry!'

........'ok?'

'Here' he says

*Hands ticket*

'Thanks dude.' *I fake smile*

'No....thank YOU.'

.......

*Silence*

Whatever THAT means.....

Time to go home.......

* * *

**REVIEW OR Car honks will control your life!! Mahahahaha!!!**


	11. The Rainbow Plate

**Its been forever. I know. But I didn't die! Woo!**

**Dedication to: _Sonny days_**

**Because: _Sonny days_ sounds like a really nice person! :)**

**Now...To the story!  
**

**~Juliet**

**Disclaimer: I WILL NEVER TAKE IT ALIVE!!  
**

* * *

**Ticket Number: 10  
**

**Who: Chad Dyl-Thief Cooper  
**

**Time: 2:23  
**

**Date: January 31, 2010  
**

**Where: Cypress Ave. (Near by Dodger Stadium)  
**

**Cost: $1270**

**Reason:** **"I stole someone license plate because it said 'SoRandmRuz' "**

_'Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Peanut Butter Jelly Time!'_

Frickin' sister! Its her fault that I hear this all the time! She went and missed with my phone and somehow locked that song as my ringtone. I'm so stupid to trust her.

Why do people find it so funny? Why on those touch screen phones it shows a picture of a dancing banana!? DANCING BANANA?! BANANA'S DON'T HAVE A BONE IN THEIR BODY!

*I pick up my bluetooth and put it in my ear.*

'Talk to CDC.' I'm so cool. Sound cool too.

'No George!........'

'I told you that I wanted my name on my new license plate!.......'

'I don't care if California ones only have seven letter license plates!.....'

'So what if I have fifteen letters in my name!.....'

'I'M CHAD DYLAN COOPER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!.........'

'....Then tell my mother!'

'......At least I can tie my shoes, you little booger!'

'......So what if you went to College at ten!....'

'UGH! Good day sir!'

'....I SAID GOOD DAY!'

*I slam the phone down.*

Well that ends that. I guess.

I get a new car and then I get told that only seven characters per a stupid liscense plate by my stupid friend/servant, George.

*Sigh*

What is a fuckin' character anyways?! ....Wait!

*I look around for a mother.*

Ok. I'm good.

Next time I see a child, I'm going to tell him to never curse around their mothers.

....Maybe I will make it on the news! Woo!

...........

*I checked my watch.*

Visiting my crazy 45 year old uncle.

SO LIGHT TURN GREEN!

Anyways....He's name is Addison. Ha!

Mom told me that 'Addison' is for boys AND girls. Ha!

(BUT my Grandmother wanted a girl. And when my grandmother had my mom, she kind of forgot about Addison. But not really.)

(I dated like 13 girls named Addison!)

Anyways....He looks like he is about 87. People think he is my grandfather. And I have to see him today, because he called my house last night asking if HE would like to go to his husband's wedding and after that his dog's poker game.

Didn't you hear me say that he was 'Crazy'.

He doesn't even have a dog!

My mom is worried about him. She loves him but Uncle Addison was always weird.

But I don't know how my mom could be worried about him and asked me to go, not her.

And she made me leave work early.

UGH!

.....

I WANT THE LIGHT TO CHANGE!

......

I WANT MY NAME ON MY LICENSE PLATE!

......

I WANT TO BE IN MY DRESSING ROOM!

......

I WANT MY MOMMY!

......

Be brave Chad! Be brave!

......

UGH! I CAN'T! I WANT TO SCREAM! SO WHAT IF I'M SPOILED!

......

*I turned my head and saw some kid was riding his pink tricycle.*

*I smirk*

'Dork!'

Curse my un-controllable mind!

*He turns around and crashes into a trash can.*

Ouch! I need to help him. My mom anyways told me to help anybody that got in a car accidents. It is being a good person.

I guess tricycles and cars are pretty much the same.

*I putted over on the side of the street and got out of my car.*

'Hey kid. Are you o.k?!'

*He cries a lot harder then he did before.*

'Where does it hurt?', I ask in a sweet and I say SWEET voice. I tell you it was SWEET!

'Inside!', he cries.

'Oh no! I should call 911!', I cries

'Not that way, you jerk! I AM NOT A DORK!'

*And he kicked in the place that doesn't need to be kicked when your a guy.*

'Uhooghocuhoo!', I cry.

And weird sound at that.

'WELL!.......' I finally say trying to think of a good comeback because it seems that this boy doesn't like name calling.

*I look at his tricycle/car and see a rainbow license plate.*

It says that he got it in the month of Sonny.

It got renewed in the year of Nico.

It was from the state of Tawni.

And his license plate said:

**_SoRandmRuz_**

Lucky! I'm never lucky!

I wish was from where this kid from! They get now characters on their license plates.

But seriously!!

What happened to:

_**MackFallsRuz**_

'........DO FUCKIN THIS!'

Dang it! And I was going to tell children not to curse!

*I grab the license plate and run to my car.*

*I look behind me.*

Dang! This kid is a fast runner.

*I jump into my car and push on the gas.*

*I speed off.*

*I look at the light.*

I'm not listening to you today Red Light!

*I run the light.*

5

4

3

2

1

*we-wo-we-wo-we-wo*

I knew it. I'm never lucky.

'You ran a light.', says a very depressed looking cop.

'Sorry?', I say

'So am I. My life sucks.'

'O.K.'

*He hands me a ticket.*

'Die tonight.', he says and walks anyway.

'Thank you?', I say.

*Sigh*

...

...

...

Maybe that Depressed Cop, Random fan kid, George and Uncle Addison would be good friends.

* * *

**REVIEW OR Uncle Addison will demand that you play poker with his dog! And I heard that his dog is pretty good!**


	12. PS Don't Listen To Katie

**I haven't updated in a long time. I really bad, huh? **

**But I was in a really good mood when I wrote this, so I hope it turned out good! **

**But I don't think it turned out how I would have liked it.**

**~Juliet**

**Disclaimer: Of course not.  
**

* * *

**Ticket Number: 11  
**

**Who: Fashion Master Chad Dylan Cooper  
**

**Time: 10:30 a.m.  
**

**Date: March 2, 2010  
**

**Where: Wingfoot Street, Placentia, CA  
**

**Cost: $1370**

**Reason: "I moved on red and stopped on green. Because the color red is sooo yesterday."**

'Chad, don't you leave yet!', my little sister called from down the hall in her doctor PJs and bunny slippers. (Well I have a few sisters....so some are little and some are older.)

'WHAT?!?!', I scream.

I sorry. Its not my fault. I haven't had some breakfast and coffee yet.

'I just wanted to tell you that you need to change.'

'Whhhhyyyy?'

'Because Sharona said so.'

'Katie....You do know that whatever Sharona says is not true. She is just being a meanie when she said that I should get fired.'

(P.S. Meanie is a word that only Katie and her big brother (Me!) understand.)

'I know. I know. You told me that. But she said-said-'

'Said what?'

'I can't say, you will think that I'm turning into my sister.', she giving me that I'm-going-to-cry look. And her and I both know that I will always fall for it.

'You will NEVER turn into your sister.'

Our sister, Anna, was a trends freak. She didn't know who she was. She dyed her hair everyday. And bought new clothes like everyday. She only listened to what the media said. I'm pretty sure that she drank alcohol when she was 12. Mom got worried and took her to the doctor. Anna was so mad that she changed her name 18 times (I think she is a Anabel now) and moved in New York. I think she still is working in that bar in New York City. (She is 22, by the way.)

'Ok.....Green was sooo Yesterday.'

'What?!', I say

'Your wearing green. Red is in style now.'

Ha! 'Do you want me to change, Kate-Kate?'

'Yes Please. And change your car color, and hair color, and everything else.'

*I check my watch.* Hey I got time for the Katie game.

------About two hours later----

O.K. I'm insane. My mom will think that something went wrong at work.

(I had to call work and tell them that they had to postpone filming today. (They will do anything for their star) )

......O.K. Lets see.....

My hair is red.

I just bought a red car.

My tie is red.

My jacket and shirt are red.

My pants are red.

My socks and shoes are red.

And....(Don't laugh)

My nails are red.

Katie................

What will the randoms think?! Katie made me get permanent red hair! AAAAAAAHHHHH!

God Help Me!

I look like a Red Pickle.

Katie isn't even in red! She is in pink!

She says that famous people are the most important.

.....

'Bye, Katie! I'm going to work. Tell Dad and Mom that I will be home at 5. And don't like Jen go to the mall without taking you.'

(Yep. Jen is another sister. She is 23. Jen forgets about Katie sometimes. Jen says that Katie is just too small. (Jen is too tall.)

'Bye Chaddy!' (Don't laugh. That was her first word, O.K.?!)

.....

'OH COME ON! YOUR HOGGING THE LANE, FAT ASS!!!!' Excuse my French.

'AT LEAST I AM NOT A RED PICKLE!!!!', the fat guy yells.

See!!! I told you!!!

........

.......I wonder how he fits into his car.

.......

'I'LL TELL YOU HOW TO HOG LANES RIGHT!!!'

.....

There goes my calm again.

.....Yeah right!

.....

....

*Green Light* Stop!

*Red Light* **Go!**

*Green Light* Stop!

*Red Light* **Go!**

*Green Light* **GO!** ......Whoooppsss.....I hope Katie didn't see that!

*Red Light* **GO!**

.......

.......

........

*wa-wo-wa-wo-wa-wo*

So they get me the third time and not the first!?

I wonder if it is Dick Burns?

'You ran that red light, I'm going to have to give me a ticket.'

....That wasn't Dick Burns.

But a lady. She looks like she was 16! Really hot. But probably not.

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR CHAD DYLAN COOPER!!!!'

YES! A FAN! I'm going to be saved!

'Yep! Nice to meet you.'

'Not nice to meett you. You are a conceited jerk to So Random!!!' (It seems like there is more So Random fan now.)

*She Slaps me, gave me ticket and ran.*

OUCH!

Mentally and Physically.

........

What cop does that?!

........

Time to go to work and be called a red pickle.

....

P.S. Never listen to Katie.

* * *

**REVIEW or you will be a red pickle!**

**P.S. Answer this question:**

_**Are you a So Random Fan or Mackenzie Falls Fan?**_

**(I'm thinking about using it in another chapter.) And mostly just for fun!  
**


	13. Chad Loves Children!

**I really want someone to tell me what ****'Webegone' means.  
**

**Just to make me proud of you!**

**...**

**  
Sorry if this is a little short. I tried.**

**~Juliet**

**P.S. I have nothing against Hannah Montana.**

**Disclaimer: WRONG!  
**

* * *

**Ticket Number: 12  
**

**Who: Mr. Children Best Friend  
**

**Time: 8:39 a.m.  
**

**Date: March 21, 2010  
**

**Where: Burton Way, Beverly Hills  
**

**Cost: $1470**

**Reason: "A girl was listening to 'Hannah Montana' music, so I threw her off a bridge."**

'Why did I have to come?', I sigh.

'Because. Nobody else would. Plus....She asked to meet you.', Sonny says.

'You mean 'screamed'.'

...

Here is the story:

Two of the randoms (Gravy and Nails, I think), got food poisoning from the cafeteria food at the studio. So Sonny, being Sonny, tried to talk the Cafeteria Manager into getting them better food. But the Cafeteria Manager had a spoiled Chad-obsessed daughter.....

....

Now here we are. Because Sonny HAD to be Sonny.

At Woebegone's Wonder House. (What a terrible name. Wait till someone that really KNOWS the English Language comes and hears the name!)

This place is the worst place to be.

Its a place full of blow-up bouncing thingys, swings, slides, plasic mountains, and air hockey.

*WACK!*

(And boys love to throw air hockey pucks at me head!)

*AHHHHHH!!!!*

(And I'm getting tackled by small children.)

...

How did my mother live with the many children?!

...

(I don't think I could even have kids!)

....

And this Devil Cafeteria Manager's daughter (Ivy), LOOOVES to scream. She's like another Dakota Condor. But worst!

And I didn't think that was possible!

Ivy is so ugly too. She needs to see my hair and make-up artist.

.....

'CHAD LETS PLAY 'CATCH THE MONSTER'!!!!!!'

....Let me guess....The monster is someone named Chad Dylan Cooper.

*Sigh*

'Sure.', I say.

'GET HIM!!!!!'

*AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!*

I start running around the huge room.

I can't believe the parents can just sit there and brag about there children. As I'm running for my life.

And then I catch Sonny laughing in the corner of my eyes.

But when I do, I stop running.

'SONNY!', I yelled. As she laughs.

But then I realize that the children are tackling me, so I grab Sonny.

She and I end up at the bottom of a human pile.

And I swear that some kid with braces, bit me on my arm.

So...my arm turned red.

*Ouch!*Sigh*

*I get up*

Finally the small people got off.

*WACK!!*

Stop you jealous boys!

'STUPID CHILDREN!!!! YOUR BIT-'

*The parents glare at me.*

One of the workers at the wonder house came up to me,

'Sir, the adults are complaining about you being loud and rude, if you are being a bother again, I will have to ask you to leave.'

.....Wow....I wonder how long he can say something without breathing..because he did a really good job there!

....

'Yes, Sir.'

*I see Sonny laughing.*

'Sonny!', I yell!

'What?! Its funny.' Sonny says.

*WACK!!*

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I start chasing the jealous little boys.

They ran for their little jealous life's.

I had to stop a breathe.

_'Oh yeah Come on _

_You get the limo out front (oh oh _  
_ oh) _

_Hottest styles, every shoe, every color'_

I personally friends with Hannah. AND she doesn't sound like that like devil, Ivy! Ivy is a fake! Ivy is a fake!

I'm so angry! Not just for the singing! But that little boys get jealous!

*I run and pick Ivy up bridal style.*

*I run over to the Japanese plastic bridge of mountain fake*

And in all that is evil and Ivy....I drop her over the bridge.

And she falls a whole 5 inches.

...

The next thing I know....

I'm getting chased out of the building by a parent with a guitar and a bottle of vinegar.

...

I hop in my car, drive off.

Just as the parent was about to hit me with a gate.....(I dunno.)

....

*wa-wo-wa-wo-wa-wo*

Of course! How could this not happen!

..

'You ran a light.'

'I know.'

'Here.'

...Weirdo.

...

*Beep*Beep*

I look at the cell phone I.D. name:

SONNY

'Hey.'

....

....

....

....

'What do you have against Hannah Montana?'

* * *

**REVIEW or you will be a Monster!**

**...**

**Not many answered my poll! :(**

**Oh well.......  
**


	14. Call Me!

**I try.**

**I try.**

**~Juliet  
**

* * *

**Ticket Number: 13  
**

**Who: Caller I.D.  
**

**Time: 9:10 p.m.  
**

**Date: April 6. 2010  
**

**Where: Sunset Blv., Hollywood  
**

**Cost: $1570**

**Reason: "****_I was randomly calling Sonny._****"**

Sonny had told me before she left was that she couldn't answer her cell phone tonight. Well...She didn't tell me. I over-heard her tell that Blond Random. Sonny's mom was sick. She said from buying Hot Dogs from a guy that was giving them away for free when her mom got of the freeway.

Gross, huh?

But she said that she would be to busy to talk or text.

I personally don't believe her.

One Because...

She is Sonny.

Two Because...

She said NOT to. So I'm GOING to.

I first have to leave the studio first. I will call her on my way home.

'By Bob!', I said nicely to the janitor.

'It's George.'

Sure....I'm sure that 'Georgie' doesn't care. He did ask me for my autograph today.

I locked my dressing room, and there wasn't anybody left at the Mackenzie Falls side, just Bob and I.

*I walked to my car*

Everything is going O.K....

Till I GET to the car.

Shit!

*I look in the window of my car.*

There is my keys on the Driver's seat.

Its weird...I had my dressing room keys, but not car, or house key.

I pull on the door

*wo-wo-wo-wa-wa-wa-wa-beep-beep-beep*

There going the car alarm!

AHHH! I hate that sound.

My neighbor doesn't that all the time! He is always having a fight with his wife.

.......Who should I call? If I call a tower, they may get the media over here.

And I will be on the news.

'CHAD DYLAN COOPER LOCKED OUT OF HIS CAR!'

I don't want that!

...I could call Mom. But she would give me another lecture.

Hmm....I could call Sonny.

...

*Ring! Ring!*

'Hello?', Sonny said

'Hello Random!', I say

'What Chad?!'

'I wanted to say Hello.'

'Oh Really? I'm busy!'

'Yes Rea-'

*Beep!

*Ring-Ring*

'Is this Grandma?'

'Come help me!'

'CHAD! Buzz off!'

'I'm locked out of my car! Come on!'

'Hahahaha-'

'Don't laugh at me.'

'It wasn't my fault.'

'I was busy this morning!'

'Breaking the heart of a girl.....Nice Chad!'

...

That was true. When I got to work this morning, I was on the phone with a girl (I think her name was Wendy...But then again...Maybe Jerry), and I had broken up with her. It lasted about 10 seconds....

But it was still meaningful, right?

...

'Still come and help me.'

'*Someone vomiting in the background**Dog yelping*...Uh-Uh...I got to go, Chad.......Mooommm don't throw up on the dog-'

*Beep*

...

*I lean against my car.*

'What am I going to do, Mr. Me?'

...Haha...Mr. Me.....I make myself laugh....I kind of like it.

.....

*Ring-Ring*

'Grandma? I can't remember how to make Feel-Better Soup?'

'Sonny. Help!'

'CHAD! I'M WAITING FOR A CALL!'

'Sorry! But I need help.'

'What about my mom?'

'Your mom can wait.'

'How dare you!!'

'Sonn-'

*Beep!*

...

No Luck!

....

I guess I will have to call my mom.

*Sigh*

...

*Ring-Ring*

'Hey Hun. Where are you? You should be home for dinner. We are waiting for you.'

'Hi Mom. *Down Breath* I locked my keys in my car.'

.....

Wait for that scream

.....

'HAHAHAHAAHAHA!-

.....

Didn't expect that.

.....

'From the minute you were born, I knew you would do that.'

(Yeah...She has weird feelings. Kind of like that guy without his legs in the movie Forrest Gump.)

.....

'-Check where the engine is.'

...I did.

And guess what?!

My mom had tucked spare keys in there!

Woo! I'm glad to have my mom sometimes.

*I got in my car and drove out of the parking lot*

I think that I should call Sonny and say sorry.

I really should.

*Ring-Ring*

'Sonny?'

'WHAT?!'

'We-'

*Click!*

....

*Ring-Ring*

'Sonny!'

'No!'

.....

*Ring-Ring*

'Pasta Hut!'

'Finally...I'd like to ord-'

'Sonny! Its me, Chad!'

*Click*

....

*Ring-Ring*

'What do you want?'

'Hey you called me!'

'Oh...Hey Sonny!'

*Click!*

...

That went on for about....hmmm....Another 4 blocks?

Them came the 'Sound'.

It is a meanie! I'm sure you know it!

*we-wo-we-wo*

'Yeah?'

'That isn't a word, son. Didn't your mother teach you how to talk.'

'....Yes....'

'Good. But she didn't teach you to not run lights.'

*Hands ticket*

'Bye......'

'Hello!'

...

Ans he walked away.....

Why are cops weird?

....

I think I should call Sonny again. I never did say sorry.

* * *

**REVIEW or your keys with be in your car's engine!**

**....**

**...**

**..**

**.**


	15. He Acts Like A Girl

**I know...It was not my best.**

**But then I thought...**

**What's wrong with a short chapter?**

**~Juliet  
**

* * *

**Ticket Number: 14**

**Who: Mr. Ugly**

**Time: 2:52 p.m.**

**Date: August 2, 2010**

**Where: Olympic Blvd, West Hollywood, CA**

**Cost: 1650**

**_Reason: 'I looking in the mirror, and saw a pimple.'_**

I truly LOVE working for Mr. Condor. He gives us the day of on his half birthday. I don't even know why. But I surprise that I wasn't invited to his party this year.

Hmm...Maybe Dakota no longer has a crush I me.

Well...I can hope, yeah?

BUT...

The bad thing about Mr. Condor's half birthday, is that he makes all the people in the whole Condor Studios, throw him ANOTHER work party at the studios.

And we HAVE TO have special things are the party to make sure we don't get fired:

BALLOONS

CAKE

HATS

T.V.

BUTTERFLIES

CATS

MORE THEN 500 GIFTS

CHOCOLATE

CHOCOLATE

AND

CHOCOLATE

...So...Sonny and I were told to get the Chocolate this year.

And we had to go to the Chocolate factory that Mr. Condor liked the best:

Liillie Wanda's Chocolate Factory. (Apparently, they are big, because of a book they wrote)

But this Chocolate is really expensive.

So I had to buy it...Sonny doesn't have that kind of money...

And when I made a comment to Sonny, on HOW she doesn't have that kind of me,

She pushed me into a big tub of melted Chocolate.

*Splash*

And it was delicious.

...Anyways...Long story short...

I was told to leave work early today...

I was breaking out in pimples all day!

But the good thing is, that they are not on my face...But my back.

But today we were going to film where Mackenzie take swimming lessons, and meets a cute girl...

Oh well for Mackenzie, right?

I'm going to have to break up with the girl anyways.

Mackenzie is going to learn that the girl is a MAN!

...

Our writers...

Are running out of ideas, O.K.?

...

...

Now I have to drive home.

*Sigh*

I guess I could listen to something.

*Turns on radio*

_*'If I was a cat, I'd bark at you. If I was a boy, I'd scream at you. If I could ride my bike, I'd crash my car. If I could go in to a coma, I'd text my BFF.-'*_

People are singing weirder and weirder songs.

Because...

If I was a cat, I would want to be in my own cat movie. DUH!

...

*Comes to a stoplight*

*Chad stops*

I think I will look in the mirror. Just to be amazed that my perfect face is O.K.

*He looks in the mirror*

*Gasp*

There it is. A Pimple!

And its the size of ant's head!

Oh no!

Everybody is going to see it!

What should I do.

Ahh! I bet my mom put pimple cream in my glove box.

*Chad leans sideways.*

*Opens glove box*

Cream! ...

Dangit! There isn't is just a little left.

My sister must have used it...

*Squirt*

Just a little.

*Pull down the mirror, and put it on*

Little did I know that my foot was on the gas

*Zoom, Zoom*

Then I heard someone yell

"Your such a girl!'

...'MEANIE!'

I yell back

*we-wo-we-wo-wo*

'Hello Son."

*Chad says nothing*

*Police Officer Hands Paper*

He says, "Son, you are such a girl, and that pimple is huge. Have a good day."

...

Oh yeah.

I'm going to have a good day after you tell someone that.

...*Sigh*...

* * *

**REVIEW or you will get a pimple!**

**I can do that with my amazing pimple powers...**

**I just can't take it away...**

**Sorry!  
**


End file.
